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Daily Mail Article

November 17, 2012

Hi, in reply to people who commented on the article in the Daily Mail:

I’m not replying to the majority – because there are too many, and in most cases the comment speaks for itself.  I’m using this space to speak to anyone who might be interested to read it:

Barbara77, Northumberland – yes, thanks, I did take my father’s advice and things are much better now!  In fact, I had already begun to turn things around when I got the email.  That’s why I was able to get over it and any feelings I had about it, enough to have it put in the paper.  I totally understand his point of view.

Jillox, Hampshire: about the 21st Century parents: I agree that parents shouldn’t have to be sounding boards to help us resolve our problems.  My mistake has been to listen to friends, and to be influenced by popular culture, that gave me to imagine that my own parents might be.  I should have trusted my instincts and kept silent.

Nick Crews for PM – LOL, love it – he’s a great orator, but I’m not sure he’d really want the job…

All those who ask why I would put the story in the paper: because it’s relevant to many families.  Also, because even before coming to France I struggled to find a way of putting my education etc. to the best use, and that not only made me unhappy, but my family deserved better.  I’ve now managed to turn this situation around.  It might not look like much to the outsider, but I would like to help others do the same.  The way the DM decided to deal with this story was to make it about my father’s letter.  They were right to interview him about it, after all, he wrote it, and he was right to do so!  However, there’s more, before and after, in the “story”, that would help people to get out of a rut and make more of life.  Guys, I know a “newspaper” isn’t necessarily the best medium, but blogs – how many people reads them?  There are too many of them out there!

For anyone who says my 35 year old brother is throwing a “strop” – he’s a very likable but fragile person with a misplaced idea of “principles” (i.e. believing he’s owed an apology).  I’ve tried to explain that he shouldn’t ask his father to “lie” by saying he’s sorry when he’s not, but my bro just can’t see beyond his own upset!

For those who said our parents should have let us confide in them, well it would have been nice if they’d been fluffy and supportive but that’s not their way.  I’ve come to a place where I can survive – and thrive – without that kind of support.  Best of all, I haven’t fallen out with my parents!

Finally, my father is pleased I had the initiative to turn his email into something potentially positive!

  1. November 17, 2012 5:46 pm

    Jane S, Nowra – hmm, a soupçon of truth – let’s hope we don’t get to that…

    Charlotteischarlotte, Ashford, thanks for your support. Harsh words they were, but I felt them most keenly, ultimately, because they were accurate. Life will be better because of it.

    About Christmas: my parents were already invited to France to spend it with us, and they haven’t changed their plans. I might burn the turkey as revenge for my father “winning” the Daily Mail comments though!

    I don’t mean to make light of any of this, but ultimately many of our generation DO, in fact, need to grow up… 😉

    Anonie, cambsUK – good point about the economic dimension, sigh… but we can’t help that now…

  2. November 17, 2012 5:54 pm

    Peterior UK – you ask whether I tried to escape being controlled, by going to a “greener pasture” – yes, I suppose I did in a way – how immature of me. But France isn’t that bad once you find out how on earth to earn a living (which I have started to do).

    In France most women work, whether or not they have small children, or are married to someone who earns enough to support the family. It’s about pulling one’s weight. So you have to find a way to earn a living – which is next to impossible in France if you don’t have french qualifications. EU rules say all member states have to recognise diplomas from other countries, but this isn’t how things work out in practice!

    James, Tunbridge Wells – draconian Dad – yes, a bit. There are a fair few of them around 😉

    Did my mother work? No, not while we were children.

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